Champions Entering a New Phrase as Riley Impels by Word of Mouth

AUBURN HILLS, Mich. — The only way the Lakers can blow the National Basketball Assn. Finals is to show up with their collective head in the wrong place, so to speak.

Thus, the team’s psychological preparation will be of utmost importance, and that’s Coach Pat Riley’s department. It will be up to him to motivate, reinforce, prod, goad, brainwash, nag and beg the Lakers to play to their enormous potential.

One way Riley has done this before is by coming up with little slogans and catch-phrases, known as Rileyisms, to keep the players mentally alert. In order to better understand how Riley might do this in preparation for the Pistons, let’s examine some of the Rileyisms he has introduced into popular usage.

Three-peat. Riley actually owns this hyphenated word, legally. This is impressive to me, because I’ve been writing stuff semi-professionally for two decades. I have invented many words, some intentionally, and yet I don’t legally own a single word. I just rent.

I’m serious. Riley really does own the trademark to Three-peat. I’ll probably have to pay him for using it in this column. It’s not clear who actually coined the term, although some insiders say it was first uttered by Byron Scott at last season’s victory parade.

However, Riley filed for, and was granted, the actual legal government trademark on Three-peat (and 3-peat ) . Right now the slogan is featured on Pat Riley T-shirts, along with a cartoon representation of Riley himself. If you haven’t seen this item yet, simply step outside your house some time in the next month.

Just how motivational three-peat will be to the Lakers is not clear. Will Riley urge his troops to three-peat for the Gipper? Will he offer them free T-shirts for a sweep? Will they hurry to eliminate the Detroit Pistons so the Lakers can leave on vacations to distant lands where 3-peat T-shirts are not sold?

Comfort zone. This is either something Riley tries to keep his players out of, or something he tries to force opponents into, or something you look for when you’re driving a turnpike and the kids are getting restless.

Make a stand. This refers to the moment of truth when you stop backing down from a tough opponent, stick out your jaw and stand your ground. However, this phrase always reminds me of high school wood shop, where I actually made a stand. It only wobbled a little, but I got a C-minus because of a sloppy varnish job.

The Lakers will need to make a stand in this series, but they should avoid doing so in a comfort zone.

Peripheral opponent. That’s Riley’s phrase for anyone outside the team. However, the term is most often applied to the devious jackals of the media.

Actually, we press people are the Lakers’ peripheral allies, because everything we write or report, good or bad, is used by Riley as a motivational tool.

Still, we don’t mind the peripheral opponent tag because the phrase gives our job a sinister and romantic aura. Instead of Oscar Madison, now I feel more like Bogie.

Instead of ink-stained wretches, thanks to Riley we now see ourselves as members of an elite SWAT squad, armed with camouflaged notebooks and lethally leaky pens. It’s kind of exciting, although the press room food is still lousy.

Hidden agenda. This is something the Laker players have that Riley has to ferret out and eliminate. Often the hidden agendas are planted by secret agents of the peripheral opponent.

I don’t know if Riley owns the trademark on hidden agenda, but I’d advise checking first with his attorneys if you plan to use it as a title for a spy novel or an office-organizer invention.

Biological clock. Riley uses this to mean something different from everyone else. This is what makes the Lakers tick, it is the reason they can look so lethargic during the regular season and so dynamic in the playoffs.

Don’t listen for the actual ticking. The Lakers’ biological clock is a Rolex.

Focused. This is, quite simply, a state of mind similar to what a carpenter needs to keep from hammering his hand into hamburger. In other words, close attention to the task.

Riley’s detractors, those who would sell him short as merely a caretaker of great talent, maintain that the Lakers come equipped with auto-focus.

Bonding. Not to be confused with spackling or puttying, bonding is the kinship Riley pushes the Lakers to achieve through mutual understanding and respect. It is the kind of deep, manly fellowship normally achieved only by drinking beer while working on cars.

Mindless cannibalism. This isn’t Riley’s phrase. I threw it in to see if you were paying attention. It is actually a phrase used by former House Speaker Jim Wright during his resignation speech, when he was making reference to the Detroit Pistons’ unique interior defense.

All of these Rileyisms have been successful, in varying degrees. It’s a major part of what he does: “What I try to do is create an environment in which talent can flourish.”

Recently while watching TV, I saw the director of the latest Richard Pryor movie describe his job in that same phrase, word for word.

May the best copyright attorney win.

Meanwhile, it will be interesting to see what new Rileyisms Riley comes up with for this big series.

He should know, however, that I have already claimed trademark dibs on the following slogans:

--”Lakers: 4-peat”

--And because Detroit fans need T-shirts, too, “Pistons: 1-Peat”