Praise Perfect Pint, Procure Pub

The contest sounds easy: Describe your perfect pint of Guinness stout and you may win your very own Irish pub. But the contest, sponsored by the Guinness company, has a catch. The week of May 15, the 10 U.S. finalists (age 21 or older) will be flown, all expenses covered, to Connie Doolan’s Pub in Cobh, County Cork, to compete (here’s the catch) in a second set of contests, lasting a week. Among them are pint pouring (hitting the glass is recommended), darts and “other pub games,” says a spokesman.

Uh, there’s still another catch. The spokesman says the 10 finalists must also give “an oral essay.” (No word on whether this will be after consuming a pint of Guinness, but it stands to reason.) A panel including reputable Irish publicans will judge and the winner will receive title to Connie Doolan’s pub.

If the grand prize winner can’t take title to the pub, he or she may accept a substitute award of $100,000. Essays of 50 words or less must be postmarked by March 24 and addressed to Guinness Win Your Own Pub Contest, PMI Station, P.O. Box 3575, Southbury, Conn., 06488-3575.