Was There a Reason for Dodgers to Pull This Double-Switch?

About those Dodgers:

--Excuse me, but I thought we were supposed to keep Orel Hershiser or Brett Butler. One or the other. Nobody said anything about kissing off both of them. Nobody said anything about playing the youngest outfield this side of the Long Beach Little League. Nobody said anything about not being able to offer Butler at least half of his old salary. Call up the Mets. Tell them you were kidding. Tell them to send Butler back overnight, COD.

--So, Tommy Lasorda acted jolly while the players were on strike. Wow, stop the presses. Lasorda acts happy. Sun rises in East. Bears hike in woods. No kidding. Union boss Donald Fehr probably went to see “The Lion King” and sat there saying: “That cub’s father just got killed and now he’s out there with a wart hog, singing Elton John songs?” Come on, man, lighten up. Lasorda is supposed to bleed blue, not be blue.

--All I want to know is, did Hershiser sign with the Cleveland Indians instead of the San Francisco Giants because (a) he didn’t want to pitch against the Dodgers, (b) he didn’t want to pitch in Candlestick Park and have a light breeze blow him off the mound, or (c) he didn’t want to pitch in Candlestick Park and have a strong breeze blow him to San Jose?

--Why would anybody be upset about shortstop Jose Offerman coming to camp overweight? Now there’s more of him to block those grounders.

--I have seen this pitching motion used by Hideo Nomo. This is the slowest motion I’ve seen since my grandmother took up bowling. His windup makes Luis Tiant’s look like an airplane propeller. Hideo Nomo is the slowest thing out of Japan since the Honda Civic.

--At various times, the Dodgers will have conferences on the mound in English, Spanish, Korean and Japanese. I believe the Dodgers are showing a blatant discrimination against French-American pitchers.

--Dodger telecasts will be closed-captioned in many cities this season in English.

--I am told that Rudy Seanez can throw a fastball 100 m.p.h. Good. Tell him to throw one at Donald Fehr.

--The more I see Mike Piazza hit, the more I believe he could go on strike for eight years, not eight months, and homer his first time up.

--People have broached the subject of Piazza moving to third base eventually to preserve his body and prolong his career. Good idea, except now Tim Wallach’s the one with the bad back.

--If the baseball players cross the umpires’ picket lines, we will know everything we ever needed to know about baseball players. That they just don’t get it. You want people to support your union, then you support theirs. It’s like Frank Thomas of the White Sox building his new home with non-union contractors. “He just doesn’t get it,” said the plumber with the picket sign outside Frank’s house. No, he sure doesn’t.

--Tell me again why Henry Rodriguez isn’t a starter. I forget. I seem to remember Henry was a pretty damn good player last season.

--Vin Scully ever goes on strike, I am never bringing a radio to the ballpark again!

--The great news for the Mets is they have Brett Butler. All they need now are eight more players and the pennant could be theirs.