COLLEGE FOOTBALL / GENE WOJCIECHOWSKI : That Neuheisel Kid Can Coach

It’s a little early to rename Colorado’s Folsom Field after him, but rookie Coach Rick Neuheisel is proving that UCLA not only should have made him offensive coordinator a few seasons ago but also heir apparent to the Teflon Man, Terry Donahue.

Every sourpuss coach in America (see Nehlen, Don . . . Graber, Doug . . . Spurrier, Steve) ought to spend a day with Neuheisel, who refuses to treat every practice and game as if it were the Battle of Dunkirk. Unlike most of these guys, he has actual fun.

Four games don’t make a career, but Neuheisel coached circles around Texas A&M;’s R.C. Slocum, the winningest active coach by percentage, and the Aggie staff in Saturday’s 29-21 victory at Boulder.

For instance, rather than concede Texas A&M; star running back Leeland McElroy his usual 170 or so rushing yards, Neuheisel OKd defensive coordinator A.J. Christoff’s risky plan to stick five players on the line and have another three defenders right behind them. McElroy gained only 52 yards against the eight-man box.

Neuheisel also didn’t suffer a “Why me?” meltdown when Koy Detmer injured his knee late in the first quarter. Instead, the former Bruin quarterback talked backup John Hessler off the ledge and through the biggest day of the redshirt sophomore’s career.

Best of all, Neuheisel was sneaky. After Colorado scored a fourth-quarter touchdown to move ahead, 26-21, Neuheisel kept his offense on the field for a two-point conversion try. The Aggies called a timeout, their second of the half.

After the timeout, the Buffaloes lined up in a bizarre-looking formation--Neuheisel called it a “funky razzmatazz thing”--that again caught Texas A&M; by surprise. The Aggies used their third and final timeout.

Thing is, the Buffaloes didn’t have a play for the formation. They were only trying to get the Aggies to waste a timeout. It worked, and Colorado eventually was able to run the clock out in the closing minutes.

And Slocum? He wasn’t prepared for a five-man front. He never figured out how to involve the dangerous McElroy into the offense (swing pass?). He didn’t take advantage of Colorado’s shaky coverage. He was tricked into using his final timeout.

THE LOST WEEKEND

Meanwhile, back at UCLA, home of the finger point. . . .

Last week, Donahue wanted to know how the mean, nasty media could question the four failed plays he called in the last 30 seconds of a seven-point loss to Oregon. (Let’s see . . . they didn’t work?)

This week, after a 24-15 jaw-dropping loss to Washington State, Donahue is calling for a full-fledged investigation into what happened to the late great undefeated Bruins.

“Everybody’s status is being re-evaluated,” he said, adding that the coaches were fair game.

OK, then, some suggestions:

--There’s a right way and a wrong way to nurse a quarterback controversy.

Right way: USC, where Coach John Robinson has Brad Otton and Kyle Wachholtz thinking a tag team quarterback system is the greatest thing since Liquid Prell.

Wrong way: UCLA, where junior Ryan Fien is publicly questioning the clean-and-jerk substitution methods used by Donahue. One minute it’s Fien, the next it’s freshman Cade McNown. If this keeps up, Fien is going to snap his neck off while looking over his shoulder.

Donahue needs to a) Do a USC and rotate his quarterbacks according to some prearranged plan, or b) Stick with a starter.

We choose the starter idea, with McNown as the No. 1 guy.

--Don’t be so sensitive.

Relatively speaking, Donahue has taken less grief per loss than most coaches. If this were Knoxville, South Bend, Columbus, Ann Arbor or Tuscaloosa, Donahue would have been basted and tasted by now. Can you imagine what would happen to, say, Lou Holtz, if he had Donahue’s record during the last seven seasons?

Since 1989, the Bruins have gone 3-7-1, 5-6, 9-3, 6-5, 8-4, 5-6 and now 2-2 after a 2-0 start. They’ve finished ninth, sixth, second, eighth, first and fifth in the Pacific 10 Conference and now sit in 10th place. They’ve been to only two bowl games. They’ve gone 12-17-1 against teams ranked in the top 25. Only twice have they finished the regular season ranked in the top 25.

So the next time Donahue takes a little heat, he ought to be happy it comes from a Bunsen burner, not the blowtorches the local media use at Notre Dame or Ohio State or Alabama.

--Kevin Jordan. No. 4. He’s a wide receiver. Find him. Use him. Love him.

IF NOMINATED, HE WILL SERVE

And your new Heisman Trophy candidate is . . . 5-8 Iowa State running back Troy Davis?

Don’t laugh. Detmer is hurt. McElroy, nicknamed ‘Lectric, suffered a power outage against Colorado. Florida State quarterback Danny Kanell and running back Warrick Dunn are vote splitters. USC wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson doesn’t get the national respect he deserves. Florida quarterback Danny Wuerffel, our early choice, has to endure the Player-vs.-Spurrier-System debate.

And then there’s Davis, the former Florida high school player of the year, who leads the nation in rushing (912 yards), is second in scoring and is averaging 6.9 yards per rush. He had 302 yards against Nevada Las Vegas, 291 against Ohio, 180 against Texas Christian and 139 against Iowa. In the history of the Big Eight Conference, only one other back has had more 290-yard-plus games: Oklahoma State’s Barry Sanders.

“He’s just very unselfish, very talented, determined, extremely tough and thank goodness we have him at Iowa State,” Cyclone Coach Dan McNarney said.

Without him, Iowa State wouldn’t be 2-2, which is two more victories than the Cyclones had last season. Maybe the most impressive accomplishment is that Davis, a 185-pound sophomore, has gained his yards behind an offensive line that recently switched a guard to center, tinkered with its tackles and started two new guards against UNLV.

Even if Davis doesn’t keep up this pace--five of the Cyclones’ next six games are against teams undefeated and ranked in the top 25--it was fun while it lasted. He needs 88 yards against Oklahoma on Oct. 7 to become the first sophomore to rush for 1,000 yards in five games. Do that and nobody with a Heisman ballot will be able to ignore the little guy.

In the meantime, the Thurman Thomas-ish Davis has helped put Iowa State where it hasn’t been in years.

On the football map.

SAY IT AIN’T SO, JOE PA

Those ESPN “bull-(bleeps)” you heard last Saturday night came from Penn State Coach Joe Paterno, who received a postgame verbal jab from the Rutgers coach, Graber.

Only a few days removed from Paterno’s sermon on the State College mount--Under no circumstances would the Nittany Lions run up the score to impress voters, he vowed--Penn State reserve quarterback Mike McQueary, his team ahead, 52-34, with 58 seconds left, threw a 42-yard scoring pass.

Huh?

When the two coaches met at midfield, Graber leaned in and told the winningest active Division I-A coach, “I didn’t think you played like that.” Paterno responded with, “Oh, bull . . .” and then stormed away.

Needless to say, Paterno and Graber won’t be appearing in any upcoming Burger King feel-good ads. In fact, they won’t be appearing in the same game together, what with the longtime series between the two schools (the rivalry started in 1931) now finished, perhaps for good.

Paterno said McQueary was supposed to dump a pass to a tight end, that’s it. Graber couldn’t understand why McQueary was throwing at all.

A few days later, Graber was keeping a low profile, saying the whole incident had been overblown by the media.

“It really wasn’t a big deal, to be honest with you,” he said. “That’s over with, and I’d rather not get into it.”

For the record, Graber said this was the first time in his seven seasons as a head coach that he had accused someone of running up the score.

THE REST

Now it all makes sense. The reason Washington almost lost at home to Army is because the Huskies were looking ahead to Saturday’s game against 1-3 Oregon State. . . . For the first time since 1991, there isn’t a Big East Conference team in the top 25 rankings. The last of the league’s four Associated Press preseason poll picks, Miami, dropped out after Saturday’s loss to Virginia Tech. Big East teams are a dreadful 7-13 against nonconference opponents and only Syracuse (2-1) has more wins than losses. . . . Shannon Faulkner’s revenge: The Citadel is 2-2. . . . With Alabama and Mississippi on NCAA probation, with Mississippi State under NCAA investigation, with Tennessee and Florida setting personal bests for off-the-field police incidents and with Auburn just off NCAA probation, the NCAA Committee on Infractions couldn’t have found a more qualified member than Roy Kramer, commissioner of the Southeastern Conference. His league is covered in more dirt than Pig Pen in “Peanuts.”

Washington State is the only team not to give up a rushing touchdown--that is, until Saturday, when they face Nebraska. The Cornhuskers, who lead the nation in rushing offense, average 6.5 rushing touchdowns. . . . His nickname is “Fright Night.” His slogan is “I bring the pain.” Introducing Arizona State’s Mitchell Freedman, a redshirt freshman free safety whose hobbies are sports card collecting and separating receivers from their senses. Freedman, who grew up in Phoenix, is already legendary for his hits. During a preseason team meeting with a Pac-10 referee, Mitchell asked, “Sir, when a receiver goes over the middle and I put him to sleep, what happens?” The Sun Devils play USC on Saturday. Fright Night, meet Keyshawn. . . . Since Colorado’s Detmer played in four games this season, he can’t apply for a medical redshirt year. If he doesn’t have surgery on his torn anterior cruciate ligament, Detmer could conceivably return by the Oct. 7 game against Kansas. This isn’t unprecedented. Denver Bronco quarterback John Elway plays without an ACL. Of course, he gets paid more. If Detmer does have surgery, his season is finished.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

Top 10

As selected by staff writer Gene Wojciechowski *--*

No. Team Record 1. Nebraska 4-0 2. Florida State 4-0 3. Florida 3-0 4. Colorado 4-0 5. Michigan 4-0 6. Ohio State 3-0 7. USC 3-0 8. Penn State 3-0 9. Oklahoma 3-0 10. Texas A&M; 2-1

*--*

Waiting list: 11. Auburn (2-1), 12. Tennessee (3-1), 13. Virginia (4-1), 14. Notre Dame (3-1), 15. Kansas State (3-0), 16. LSU (3-1), 17. Maryland (4-0), 18. Washington (2-1), 19. Texas (2-1), 20. Stanford (3-0-1), 21. Oregon (3-1), 22. Alabama (2-1), 23. Kansas (4-0), 24. Northwestern (2-1), 25. Arkansas (3-1).