Time to Ax Knocks on LAX

Naturally, someone had to shoot down my public-spirited idea of renaming LAX Harvey International Airport. You know, in honor of the rabbit in the Jimmy Stewart movie, “Harvey.”

This was my alternative to county Supervisor Mike Antonovich’s proposal to name it after the actor, an improbability since there’s already a Stewart International Airport in New York state.

Anyway, Steve Schwaber e-mailed that he wished to “be among the first to argue against” my idea. Schwaber pointed out that “the airport code for this would undoubtedly be ‘HIX,’ which would only validate the general East Coasters’ view of Southern Californians.”

OK, nix HIX.

A CASE AGAINST ANY CHANGE: Norma S. and two other readers pointed out why the airport should keep its name. Let me put this as delicately as possible. If it were re-christened, outsiders might ignore the new name and insist on putting an “Ex” in front of the “LAX.”

I say, LAX stix.

HOW MUCH MORE CAN KEN TAKE? One of the newest sports in America? It’s belt-sander drag racing. Fine Woodworking magazine reports that it was invented by a cabinetmaker after a client plugged in a belt sander, unaware that the trigger was already in the “on” position. The machine sped across the counter.

Soon, owners were racing their machines, eventually forming the International Belt Sander Drag Race Assn. The magazine noted that competitors often decorate their entries, as evidenced by Grant Waddell’s shot of a familiar-looking miss (see photo).

She isn’t marketed by El Segundo-based Mattel. But her owner calls her Belt Sander Barbie.

SPEAKING OF MACHINES: Did you see where gardeners who use leaf blowers staged a march to protest a pending ban? You know, if they could synchronize their movements they could also enter this month’s Doo Dah Parade.

INUNDATING THE LANGUAGE: Marvin Kalin spotted a new expression in an ad for the Santa Palm Car Wash in West Hollywood: “Let us ‘El Ninonize’ your car!’ ”

Even if rainfall is light this winter, we may drown in all the El Nino pitches.

SPACE JUNK? No sooner was NASA’s Mars mission declared at an end than we received a snapshot from Alan Gilbert of Hollywood (see photo). I’m surprised no one’s spotted any Dumpsters with EL NINO written on the side.

ANGELENOS ON THE ROAD: Ken Davis of Mar Vista recalled that just after he and his wife, Terri, were married they arrived at a “quaint B&B; in London. . . . After checking in with the very polite proprietor, and after some small talk, we started up the stairs. Can you imagine my wife’s surprise when our host stopped her to ask if she would like to get ‘knocked up’ in the morning? We were stunned until we were informed that being knocked up meant being awakened.”

ANGELENOS ON THE ROAD II: Harold Braun of Hollywood had the same experience in a London hotel. He adds that “later, on a sleeping car going north, I was not surprised to see a porter in uniform with a large badge reading, ‘Knocker Upper.’ ”

miscelLAny:

What with the way some people drive on the freeway, I guess it’s only logical that some traffic reports on radio station KLON-FM (88.1) are sponsored by the National Hot Rod Assn. Not sure I’d want to be knocked up by hot rod ads, though.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.