The Geek Squad: Joe Friday Heading a High-Tech Jiffy Lube

MINNEAPOLIS — Robert Stephens, the self-proclaimed chief inspector of the Geek Squad, has a dream: “The complete and total global domination of the computer support business.”

He just might succeed.

Dressed in black slacks, starched white shirt, narrow black clip-on tie, white socks and black shoes, Stephens is the founder of the Geek Squad, a high-tech company that specializes in computer support. From beginning to end, his company is patterned after 1960s television police shows, with special homage to “Dragnet.”

Stephens started alone in 1994 but now employs 12 so-called special agents. All of the agents wear the same uniform as Stephens, carry badges and respond to service calls in vintage automobiles, the geekier the better. They are on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Their motto: “We’ll Save Your Ass.”

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10:10 a.m.--Geek Squad Headquarters, Minneapolis:

Special Agent Sarah Zanger receives an urgent call from Jim Overman at Consortium Book Sales, a book distribution company. Overman’s printer is not automatically selecting paper size and is responding erratically to print commands. The company needs urgent help.

Zanger assigns Special Agent Chad Grimsrud to the case. Grimsrud talks Overman through some possible solutions on the phone. He tells Overman to call back if the printing problem isn’t solved.

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11:30 a.m.--Geek Squad Headquarters:

Overman calls to say he has tried everything, and the printer still won’t work properly. Zanger dispatches Grimsrud to the scene. Grimsrud squeezes his 6-foot-4 frame into Geek-2, a tiny, powder-blue 1963 Renault Dauphine with the orange and black Superman-style Geek Squad logo on the side, and heads for the Consortium offices.

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Stephens is not only a Dragnet fan, he’s a shrewd businessman.

“It’s a military psychosis of a comic proportion,” Stephens says of computer crises. The humor not only makes the job fun for employees but relieves the stress for the customer, he says.

And behind the tongue-in-cheek costumes and goofy cars is a business philosophy more rooted in Jiffy Lube than in Microsoft.

“We’re in the fast-food business; quick, small and frequent transactions,” Stephens says. “The exotic part of the business is the delivery of the service.”

The recipe obviously works. Stephens will not release exact revenue information but says that he has about 2,000 customers and revenue has doubled every year.

The business is so successful that Stephens is planning to expand this fall with a drive-thru window. Branch offices are scheduled to open in Chicago in May and in Los Angeles in September 1998.

A book by Stephens detailing the Geek Squad’s secret tips will be released by Simon & Schuster this spring. Stephens also says there is talk of a fictional movie to be produced by Disney based on the real Geek Squad, but he’s waiting for a “decent script.”

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1:30 p.m.--Consortium Book Sales, St. Paul, Minn.:

Grimsrud arrives at the scene and lopes inside. Overman takes him to the printer. Grimsrud opens his black, soft-sided bag of tricks.

Grimsrud tries typing in commands, then pokes around the printer before reaching his diagnosis.

A small switch that allows the automatic paper size selection device to work needs to be replaced, but the procedure would cost nearly as much as a new printer.

Grimsrud shows Overman how to manually select paper size and recommends a new printer model. But Grimsrud also points out that a new printer is not really needed.

Consortium, with 14 computer terminals connected to a server, has been working with the Geek Squad for about 18 months.

“We’d have to bring in a half-time computer support person if we didn’t have them,” Overman says. “We have been very happy.”

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Stephens is serious about customer service. Customers begin talking to a special agent to solve their problem within four to seven minutes and repairs are completed as soon as possible, he says. The company charges a flat rate for repairs and the special agents get a bonus for every satisfied customer.

“We focus on between 60 and 70 problems and do those things very well. We also only concentrate on individuals and small businesses,” Stephens says.

Special agents are paid about half of what their corporate counterparts earn, but they also get their bonuses, as well as stock options that Stephens says will pay off eventually.

Don’t look for the Geek Squad to go public any time soon. “Can you imagine what a big company would do to us?” Stephens says.

Most of his employees are in their 20s and are true believers in the company’s future.

“I think Robert is really on to something here,” Grimsrud says. “Plus, it’s a lot of fun. Robert even let’s us take the cars home with us if we promise to drive them around a lot.”

With more computer manufacturers charging for their technical support or phasing it out, Stephens is confident there is a niche for his company.

Mark Minasi, a Virginia-based computer consultant, says there is a clear opportunity for companies like the Geek Squad.

“The business absolutely needs it. If somebody will come and hold your hand for you for a reasonable price, then God bless them,” Minasi says.

But what sticks in the customer’s minds are the geeks with badges driving the funny cars.

“We are a living comic book . . . and a profitable corporation,” Stephens says.