LAUGH LINES

The Great Escape: “The White House announced . . . that President Clinton will travel to Great Britain on the day that Florida chooses its electors. . . . This is a lifetime pattern. . . . Whenever America gets stuck in a war, Bill Clinton goes to England.” (Argus Hamilton)

In the Rumor Mill: “The New York Post is reporting a curious rumor: President Clinton may decide to run for mayor of New York. . . . He’d change ‘The City That Never Sleeps’ to ‘The City That Sleeps Around.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Law of Nature: “To put this legal process in perspective, . . . we’ve been exposed to more judges, attorneys and paralegals since the election than Robert Downey Jr. sees in a single day.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Back to School: “The White House announced it’s going to start giving George W. Bush daily briefings on national security matters and Bush [is] very upset about it. He said, ‘Do I have to? I’m not even president yet, [and] I’m getting homework!’ ” (Jay Leno)

Dozing Off: “The Dutch have legalized euthanasia. What do the Dutch have in common with Al Gore? They put people to sleep.” (Daily Scoop)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.