LAUGH LINES
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Takes One to Know One: “After making remarks considered bigoted, and undergoing psychological testing, Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker will enroll in the Marge Schott School for Sensitivity Training.” (Epf Robeck)
Rod and Reel: Rod Stewart turned 55 years old this week. “He’s at that age now that if he sings ‘. . . Do You Want My Body?’ he’s talking to medical schools.” (Jay Leno)
Name Game: “AOL merged with Time Warner. There is no truth to the rumor that the combined company’s name will be AWOL Time.” (Alex Kaseberg)
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Chris Pina’s Essential Daily List
Why Jesus May Be
George W. Bush’s
Favorite Political Philosopher
* Couldn’t think of any other philosopher.
* Just so that the other candidates would look like shallow, faithless worms.
* Dad made him say it.
* Frightened to give random name and then have to talk about philosophical stuff.
* Has habit of talking about people he doesn’t really know.
* Believes Jesus was a Republican.
* Votes.
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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