LAUGH LINES

Blowing Smoke: “It’s starting to get nasty. Al Gore is now running an ad blaming George W. Bush for causing smog and air pollution in Texas. Bush, quick to respond, said that from now on, Texas is switching to the new smokeless electric chair.” (Jay Leno)

Up for the Job: “It’s easy for me to make jokes about the debates because I’ve got nothing to do with them, but . . . these boys aren’t kidding around; they want the Oval Office. They want to get in there and run things, so they’re working very hard on the debates. Al Gore’s spent a lot of time now working on his fibs, and George W. Bush has been practicing his deer-in-the-headlights look.” (David Letterman)

Buy the Book: “Vice President Al Gore took a minute to shop for some books . . . as he campaigned in Florida. One of the books he picked up was ‘The Adventures of Pelican Pete.’ He plans on giving the book to his 1-year-old grandson, who’s apparently already reading at a George W. Bush level.” (Ira Lawson)

Tough Decisions: “Al Gore and George W. Bush debated [Oct. 11] in North Carolina. It’s a close call. . . . Americans are forced this year to choose between a Democrat who can’t tell the truth and a Republican who can’t pronounce it.” (Argus Hamilton)

*

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.