This Would Take Tennis Straight to the Penthouse

Is it or isn’t it Anna Kournikova, partially naked, in that Penthouse spread?

And how about that juicy dust-up between Jennifer Capriati and Billie Jean King over practicing with--of all things--the Fed Cup team, the lesser-known women’s version of Davis Cup? As if anything could be less known to the American sporting public than Davis Cup. Jennifer reportedly said bad words to Billie Jean. There was a fight. Jennifer was removed from the team. The U.S. lost.

These two incidents have gotten women more attention in the sporting media than any recent athletic achievement. The majority male press, let’s face it, much prefers a scantily-clad vamp or a cat fight to accomplishment.

But Venus and Serena Williams could change all that.

The tennis-playing sisters could make worldwide waves and a statement about female athletes if only they would accept the challenge from the tennis-playing McEnroe brothers, John and Patrick.

The idea of this grudge match seems to have been John’s, of course. John McEnroe loves to talk trash about women’s tennis and in some part of his chatter on television, Johnny Mac said he’d like to take on the sisters with the help of his brother. Venus and Serena have never been shrinking violets when it comes to their own talents either.

But this time the women seem to be backing away from confrontation. A $45-million lawsuit has been filed by representatives of the McEnroe brothers who say there is a contract signed by Richard Williams, father of Venus and Serena, agreeing to this match.

Keven Davis, legal counsel for the sisters, says it doesn’t matter what Richard signs, only what Venus and Serena sign. And Venus and Serena have signed nothing, Davis says.

Normally, this would be wonderful news, an indication the sisters are distancing themselves from Richard, who too often puts his daughters in a bad light with rash statements, careless denigrations and off-the-wall pronouncements.

But for once, even if it’s the last time, the sisters should listen to their father.

Venus and Serena should most definitely play John and Pat.

Because the sisters just might win. Really.

Venus and Serena are athletes. They are strong, aggressive, quick athletes who can cover the court. They don’t have girl serves. Venus and Serena consistently serve more than 100 mph. They can be fearless. They can hit 10 balls into the stands but the 11th will be a winner from an impossible angle or from off the court. They hit their ground strokes hard, as hard as some men, as hard as many men who played when John was in his prime. John and Pat won’t be able to sit and wait on too many powder puff balls.

Of course, John is the best doubles player in history. He might be 43, but he was never one to overwork himself. His soft hands, the best ever, were God-given. His reflexes might be slower, but he will still be able to volley far better than anyone Venus and Serena have played.

And Patrick, 35, is not that far from his prime. He can still hit a hard ground stroke and a rough serve.

This is not an argument that women are better athletes than men, after all. The best men will always be stronger, quicker, faster than the best women.

But this isn’t between the best men and women. It’s between the best women and men who used to be the best. A decade or more ago.

This proposed matchup would be one of the most-watched sporting events ever. It would offer everything today’s sports fan seems to love. Sex, race, drama, controversial characters (John, Richard Williams) and something we’ve never seen before. There has never been anything like it.

When King played Bobby Riggs, Riggs was way too old, a survivor of cancer and a hard-lived life. King was in her athletic prime. And still the match was huge.

Even the news of the lawsuit last week had the goofballs on Fox’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period” devoting significant time analyzing the match. Seriously. They didn’t dissect the bodies of Venus and Serena, only their serves and volleys.

That is breathtaking progress and a real compliment to Venus and Serena.

Venus and Serena would earn themselves a ton of respect by playing this match. They’d have the guts to put themselves on the line. Sports isn’t about women playing men. That will turn out one way 99% of the time. But sports is about the challenge, and this would be a great challenge for the sisters.

And it would be a great match for tennis. The outcome would be furiously debated. The TV and talk radio coverage would be nonstop. There would be rooting interest for old white guys and young African-American girls and every demographic in between. It would be the opposite of the “Hear Me Roar” women’s lib exhibition that the King-Riggs match was.

This would be real, athletic competition. Made for television, yes, but made for much, much more.

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Diane Pucin can be reached at [email protected]