Yes, it’s dirty, and nearly rotten too

SAN DIEGO — If you can’t beat ‘em, follow their lead. That’s the lesson learned by the scam artists in “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,” the new musical that received its world premiere Wednesday night at the Old Globe, and it also seems to be the motto of the show’s creative team.

In 2001, director Jack O’Brien and composer David Yazbek’s Broadway musical “The Full Monty” received 10 nominations but didn’t win a single Tony Award, shut out by two charismatic con men in a little show called “The Producers.” So O’Brien and Yazbek are back, this time with their own screen-to-stage musical about two con men. Their “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” follows Mel Brooks’ formula -- two unlikely partners in crime, a blond sidekick, lots of dirty jokes -- but the musical they’ve produced looks and sounds less like a bona-fide Broadway blockbuster and more like a Bialystockian boondoggle.

“Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” is scheduled to hit the Great White Way next year, but what was seen on the stage of the Globe on Wednesday evening seems aimed more toward burlesque than Broadway. The show is absolutely dirty -- some of the crude humor may even make San Diego’s sailors blush -- and if not exactly rotten, the proceedings on opening night looked more than a little stale.

The 1988 Frank Oz film “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” (itself based on a 1964 movie, “Bedtime Story”) about the art of high-end seduction may not be a cinematic masterpiece, but it gave its leads, Michael Caine, Steve Martin and Glenne Headly, roles that elegantly showcased their comic talents. This “Scoundrels” has four excellent performers, but sadly, their talents are wasted in a musical comedy that’s barely musical and not very funny.

Anchoring the show is John Lithgow in the role of Lawrence Jameson. As in the disappointing “Sweet Smell of Success,” Lithgow manages to give a strong performance that often succeeds in distracting the audience from his show’s shortcomings. Lithgow may not have Caine’s old-world charm or vocal precision -- the lack of consistency in his various accents strains credibility -- but he has good comic timing, and the show is decidedly more watchable when he’s on stage.

Norbert Leo Butz plays Freddy Benson, Jameson’s unrefined apprentice, with lots of energy but zero restraint. He’s clearly talented, but the role allows for little besides wild histrionics. Credit Butz for throwing himself into the part. Still, the result is a performance that seems like an audition for a Chris Kattan biopic.

One feels obligated to mention the female leads, Sherie Rene Scott and Joanna Gleason, though one wishes the show’s creators would have given them something to do. Both parts are musically and dramatically underwritten. Scott’s Christine Colgate is merely a plot device, and Gleason’s puffed-up role of Muriel Eubanks exists solely to recite brand names and deliver bad puns.

The opening number is titled “Give Them What They Want,” and indeed this overproduced spectacle tries hard to be a crowd-pleaser. “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” has no ambitions of being an arty, Sondheim-esque work -- it’s an old-fashioned show with songs whose only musical ambition, it seems, is to make people applaud.

Composer Yazbek has said that much of his inspiration for the score comes from the work of Cole Porter. Certainly, “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” has all of the elements of a Porter show: a Riviera setting, gay divorcees, flashy clothes and lots of champagne. Like Porter’s work, Yazbek’s songs bounce from one style to the next: scat, samba, surf rhythms -- even rap in “Great Big Stuff,” an MTV-era ode to conspicuous consumption. But unlike Porter, Yazbek lacks an instinctual talent for using music to tell a story or introduce a character. It’s hard to think of more than one or two songs in the show that actually further the action or even is necessary to the plot.

If anything, “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” could be described as the anti-Cole Porter musical. If Porter’s shows can sometimes feel as if the spoken scenes are just a way of killing time until the next big number, Yazbek’s show feels as if the songs are just killing time until the next bit from Dale Launer, Stanley Shapiro and Paul Henning’s original screenplay. Not that book writer Jeffrey Lane has left in all of the good parts of the script -- many of the best scenes have been jettisoned in favor of an oversexed subplot and a constant barrage of musty wordplay of the “I think someone put alcohol in the champagne” variety.

Lane’s book allows none of the performers to have a moment in which he or she simply reacts to surroundings or one another. In fine sitcom fashion, veteran TV writer Lane neglects silence or gesture in favor of noise and overstatement. Some of the best gags in the film “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” are physical: Caine casually leaning against a pole or Steve Martin self-reflexively sticking a fork in his eye. These gags are hardly sophisticated, but at least they’re funny. In the musical, there’s only one physical gag -- Christine trips every time she walks in the room -- and it never gets a laugh.

Jack O’Brien, who so deftly handled the direction in the 2002 Tony-winning musical “Hairspray,” does little to help the onstage inertia. His solution is to take the actors offstage and put them in the aisles, a gimmick that works once but quickly gets old.

But as hand-tied by the material as O’Brien is, pity choreographer Jerry Mitchell. Yazbek’s bland music gives him almost nothing to set his dancers to. At one point, poor Mitchell resorts to a conga line. David Rockwell’s cool, minimalist design is eye-catching -- each scene looks like the cover of a 1930s Conde Nast glossy -- but not particularly theatrical.

Toward the end of the show, Lithgow’s Lawrence pays his pal Freddy a compliment: “What you lack in grace, you more than make up for in vulgarity.”

This new musical has plenty of vulgarity, and it’s doubtful that it will be cut as the show makes its way to New York. Given the growing desire for gross-out humor, the makers of “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” are likely to follow the lead of “The Producers,” which made it clear: If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

*

‘Dirty Rotten Scoundrels’

Where: Old Globe Theatre, Balboa Park, 1363 Old Globe Way, San Diego

When: 7 p.m. Sundays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays; 8 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays; 2 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays

Ends: Oct. 31

Price: $45-$75

Contact: (619) 234-5623

Running Time: 2 hours, 45 minutes

John Lithgow...Lawrence Jameson

Norbert Leo Butz...Freddy Benson

Sherie Rene Scott...Christine Colgate

Joanna Gleason...Muriel Eubanks

Gregory Jbara...Andre Thibault

Sara Gettelfinger...Jolene Oakes

Based on the film “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,” written by Dale Launer, Stanley Shapiro and Paul Henning. Book by Jeffrey Lane. Music and lyrics by David Yazbek. Directed by Jack O’Brien. Choreography by Jerry Mitchell. Sets by David Rockwell. Costumes by Gregg Barnes. Lighting by Kenneth Posner. Music director: Ted Sperling. Stage manager: Michael Brunner.