Some Will Run in Honor of Lost Loved Ones

On some nights when he finishes his homework early, Chris Valdes likes to look through family photo albums. Whenever he sees pictures of his dad and his brother Emir, 13, playing basketball or visiting a theme park, he thinks about what he missed.

“I never got to know him,” Chris, 9, said of his father. The youngster was only a baby when his father was shot and killed during a robbery of the small Valencia market he managed more than six years ago.

But on Sunday, Chris will have a chance to honor his father’s memory when he runs a section of the 26.2-mile Los Angeles Marathon. He will be among 120 children participating in the race to raise money for Our House, a nonprofit support center for children and adults grieving over the death of a family member.

In its 11th year as a participant, Our House is one of 50 charities raising money in the marathon.

It is the second-biggest annual fundraiser for the nonprofit, which collected about $50,000 from the race last year.

Michelle Post, director of child and adolescent programs at Our House, said publicly acknowledging the death of a loved one and finding ways to preserve the person’s memory are important parts of the grieving process. Participants will wear T-shirts bearing photos and the names of those they are honoring.

“It helps them realize that they don’t have to isolate themselves or pretend that it didn’t happen,” Post said. “The marathon is just one of the ways to memorialize the person who died.”

Most of the Our House participants -- ranging from toddlers in strollers to high school students -- will complete a 1.5-mile section of the course, starting at the 20.5-mile mark at 6th Street and Rossmore Avenue.

There will be a “finish line” for them at the end of that section, but they also have the option of running to the official finish line.

Anthony Hendrickson, 16, said he will run in the marathon for the fourth time in memory of his father, who was shot and killed during a street robbery in August 2001. His 12-year-old sister, Antoinette Hendrickson, also will participate.

Anthony, who plays shooting guard for his high school basketball team, said what he misses most is sharing with his father those special moments in every adolescent’s life.

“He can’t come to my games,” Anthony said. “When I graduated from junior high, he wasn’t there. When I started high school, he wasn’t there.”

Although he likes meeting and talking with other runners in the race, he especially enjoys socializing with other Our House participants because of their common bond.

“In some way, I’m helping them because they’ll know there are a lot of people like them,” Anthony said. When he started attending group sessions at Our House, he said, it was reassuring to meet other teenagers who were experiencing what he was going through.

Eli Goldman, 11, agrees. His father died of a heart attack in 2002.

“At school, nobody feels like this,” he said. “When I came to Our House, they knew how I felt and they made me feel comfortable.”

Eli and his three siblings -- 15-year-old Seth, 13-year-old Jessie and 8-year-old Jonah -- will run in the marathon for the third time this year. If it hadn’t been for Our House, Seth said, it would have been harder “to go to school and not feel angry or sad all the time.”

The children participating in the marathon say they appreciate the encouragement they get from other runners. They said others often tell them, while on the course, “Your dad would be proud of you.”

Chris Valdes said that when he was in the marathon in 2000, he liked it when people on the sidelines cheered him on, saying “Keep up the good work.”

“That’s tight,” he said.