LAUGH LINES

Gray Matter: “Pete Rose refused to admit gambling on ballgames during an interview by NBC’s Jim Gray. How brutal was the questioning? After it was all over, O.J. Simpson walked out of his house with his hands up.” (Argus Hamilton)

Sweet Teeth: “A survey says Americans spend $81 each on Halloween. That works out to about $6 worth of gooey candy and $75 for the X-rays, teeth cleaning and dental exam.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Gotta Hand It to Him: “Donald Trump doesn’t like shaking hands. It’d be nice to have a president who keeps his hands to himself.” (Daily Scoop)

Gotta Hand It to Them: “This is the weekend we fall back. Looks like the Atlanta Braves decided to fall back before the big rush at 2 a.m. Sunday.” (Cortes)

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Gary Easley’s Top Ways

You Can Tell Your

Blind Date Is Dracula

9. He orders Bloody Marys, then Bloody Freds, Bloody Bills, Bloody Tiffanys. . . .

7. His cape looks better than anything you have in your whole wardrobe.

5. He invites you to an Undead concert.

1. There are hickeys, and then there are hickeys.

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.