‘Transylmania’

Romania had it bad enough under communism without seeing one of its atmospheric old castles be location-molested for a moronic college comedy with topless vampires, a leather-clad vampire huntress and horny, pot-puffing American exchange students of indeterminate age.

For those of you who care about the purity of bargain-basement franchises, “Transylmania” is essentially the third in the yawning “Dorm Daze” series of pea-brained “Porky’s”-style bacchanals. This one moves the getting-action action and many of the same dopey party animals to the birthplace of bloodsuckers for the kind of humorless adolescent twaddle that mostly sucks the life out of moviegoing.

Although the inept filmmaking and tiresome gags give the air of coming from one truly bored misogynist, it took two screenwriters (Patrick Casey, Worm Miller) and two directors (David & Scott Hillenbrand) to create this stake through the heart of film comedy. Then again, if your idea of a good time is laughing with repulsion at a humpbacked Romanian nympho with a torture-loving midget dad, or tittering every time a bong appears, a darkened theater awaits you. Like vampires, cruel, creepy sex jokes never seem to die.

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